The 3 Best Things About Patxi's Pizza

The 3 Best Things About Patxi's Pizza

Oh my God. Praise be unto junk food: thanks to my rockin' Grandma's Christmas present, I can actually afford to eat something besides kale with nutritional yeast on for dinner tonight. What better place than Patxi's, the best Chicago-style pizza West of (dare I say it?) the Appalachians. (Yeah, I went there.) Here are three of the many, many great things about Patxi's (besides the delicious taste):

1. Location(s)--No matter where you are in the city, there is literally a Patxi's within delivery range (except the Dogpatch and Potrero. Sorry, guys). The Patxi's delivery map is a truly beautiful thing--apparently you can even get pizzas delivered in Golden Gate Park itself. Just imagine. You're sitting in a drum circle, enjoying the cool breeze and some of San Francisco's finest local agriculture, when a giant Chicago-style pizza appears literally in your lap. What could be better, I ask you?

2. The Name--I secretly love taking people to Patxi's and watching them stumble over the name. It's like those old Chipotle commercials, when white people in my suburb kept pronouncing it Chipoodle (really?). The website (and pizza boxes) explain it, of course, but why point that out? Just giggle to yourself and wait until the end of the meal, when you can snootily say, "Uh, it's PA-cheez."

3. OH MY SWEET JESUS, VEGAN CHICAGO-STYLE PIZZA!--I mean, really. Must I say more? Patxi's vegan pizza is so flipping delicious that when we ordered it to bribe people to paint our living room, it literally started a paint war. Did you hear me? A paint war--over vegan pizza.

Now please excuse me. I have to see a man about a...delicious combination of bread, sauce, and cheese.

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